(This was a rejected piece under the assumption that "everyone knows these iconic events". I beg to disagree on the grounds that many less than 25's may not have all the details. That being said, I have decided to blog it instead. WARNING: Moderate Adult Content)
There are many events in our lifetime that bind us as contemporaries, a community of people just trying to get by day to day on this crazy ball of Carbon we call Earth. Whether we are talking major world events such as 9/11/2001, the Berlin Wall coming down in Germany, or as minor as burning your arm on the back door of your parents' station wagon by accidentally resting it on the silver death trap cover of the ashtray (it was, after all, located on the inside armrest for every back-seat smoker's convenience and had been baking in the hot summer sun all day long!!!!) there are a few things you need to know. What I'm saying is, if you were either too young to remember certain events, or worse, weren't even born yet, you officially do not have the right to sit at the grown-up table.
#5 Who's O.J. Simpson?
If you cannot tell me what you were doing or watching when your regularly scheduled programming was interrupted by the famous helicopter view of the "White Bronco" racing down the highway, than you are not allowed to express your view that Kim Kardashian has every right to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Reality stars, are of course, the new "Brat Pack". No, I'm not talking about the kids from The Breakfast Club either, but you know that like you know the Kardashians are famous because their father was on O.J.'s defense team long before any sex tape got allegedly "leaked" to the media. What??? That's so weird! So he was, like, a lawyer? Really, stop talking!
"I so deserve this!"
"after a 474-day legal pageant that was alternately tedious, hypnotic, farcical and lurid, many Americans were even more stunned when a jury took less than four hours to find Simpson not guilty."
http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20101827,00.html
# 4 Sinead O'Connor and Pope John Paul II "Fight the Real Enemy!"
There are few things in Pop Culture that compare to the night the fashionably bald Celtic Queen added some balls to her brogue and literally tore a picture of the revered Pope John Paul II in half during an appearance on SNL. If you missed it, you missed it because it stirred such controversy the NBC network refused to ever replay it again. But wow...what a bizarre night that was! She entered the stage in complete silence and literally ripped the Catholic Church a new one for pulling the curtain on years of child abuse. That's right. There actually was a time when speaking ill of priests and children would get you into a lot of hot water and literally ruin you. Today, its the butt of almost every joke! My point is, if you don't remember the impact this woman had, the statement she made to the world, the pioneer and advocate she was trying to be, or if you're thinking who's John Paul II? ... Please, walk away now. No, no! No excuses. One foot after the other. Thank you. By the way, twenty years later she admitted it wasn't John Paul II she was angry with, rather, the Catholic Church as a whole. Even going as far as claiming she is "sure he is a very nice man."
"Thank you Lord for Ms. O'Connor"
"Tuesday, 4 May, 1999, Singer Sinead O'Connor has caused uproar in Ireland after becoming a priest.
O'Connor became Mother Bernadette Mary at a ceremony staged by the breakaway Latin Tridentine church in Lourdes..."
http://www.theguardian.com
# 3 "Baby Jessica"
Baby Jessica? Of course, Jessica Simpson had a baby or two...everyone knows that! OMG my head is pounding. FYI, using the term OMG or any other acronym out loud will get you 86'd from any one of our parties faster than you can loom a rainbow bracelet! Jessica McClure was just 18 months old when she captured the hearts of every man, woman, and child in America after falling down a well on October 14, 1987. The entire ordeal lasted 58 pain staking hours and we all watched every nail biting minute of them live thanks to CNN. We cheered as a nation of one when we watched her little body hoisted out of the ground and even the biggest, baddest, well, baddass cried like a ten year old girl who just lost her kitten at the news Baby Jessica had made it out of that 22ft. pit of darkness. All eyes were on Midland, Texas...and every one of them as blood shot as the men and women who worked tirelessly to figure a way get her out.
"Its a Miracle!"
Photo courtesy of: http://gunnarspeaks.com/2010/09/17/have-paul-bunyan-call-his-wife/
"Millions watched Jessica McClure, and they saw events as they happened. During the last minutes of her rescue, 3.1 million households were tuned to CNN alone. Those millions of people felt they were there."
http://www.texasmonthly.com/story/baby-jessica-25-years-later
# 2 The Challenger Explosion
We all remember the day we watched with baited breathe as Christie McAuliffe, a school teacher, was joining the team on the ill-fated Challenger Mission. It was late morning, January 28th, 1986. Bright eyes turned to saucers as the countdown was complete and those boosters blasted the shuttle right into the clear blue sky...and 73 seconds later, they were gone. Just a large grey mass of smoke and fire hovered as sparks fell down in slow motion. It seemed like time stood still for the entire day. Kids in school watched in horror as their teachers scrambled to turn off the television. You know, the one that was rolled into the classroom on a giant gurney-like shelving contraption by one of the upper-classman and plugged into the wall. No? That figures. And another reason, well, you know.
You may want to take a look at this...
http://space.about.com/cs/deceasedastronaut/a/mcauliffe.html
# 1 "I Did Not Have Sex with that Woman, Ms. Lewinsky"
"O.K. We get it now!"
Barbara Walters was quoted as saying it was her most watched interview...and the number one question on the minds of her viewers who wrote in was, "What lipstick was Monica wearing?"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/17/barbara-walters-monica-lewinsky_n_3292361.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/politics/special/clinton/icreport/icreport.htm
http://partners.nytimes.com/library/politics/030499barbara-monica.html
http://poetry.rapgenius.com/Dave-chappelle-killin-them-softly-annotated
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